Teasing and Denial ... TnD

When you have read this post ... and after a few more of them, You are going to know more about my desires than possibly any Woman I have talked to ...

A lot of my hesitance about my desires I think comes from fear ... not fear of the unknown ... more fear of things i have desired to feel ... but have only had small tastes of.
I think it is a womans strength that goes thru me the most.

So what is it that i desire ... at least in the realm of serving a Woman. This question always leads to so many things running thru my mind. Finding a Woman who enjoys using a man ... but using him more than a little bit. A Woman who likes a man to bring her a glass of wine or a hot choclate ... then kneel by Her feet while She enjoys it.

I think often about the power of the feelings in kneeling at a Womans feet ... kneeling between her legs or next to Her .... and laying my head on Her thigh. Such a wonderful place. I have crawled to a woman ... and laid my head on her thigh ... while she sat at her desk working. I know what that place is like ... and it is a place I crave deeply.

I am a strong man ... The first time I chatted with a dominant Woman was under a dominant profile. And for the most part that is what most of my relationships with women have been ... me as the dominant. And in the rest of my life, I am certainly the dominant. Just about any room of people I am in, I am in charge. It amazes me at work how constantly ... and by whom ... I am deferred to for decisions and direction. It is, for the most part ... who I am.

But a few years ago, it started to change in my relationships. I wanted to be the one used ... the one brought to levels of incredible pleasure ... and then denied. The one left used and wanting ... and then needing to satisfy his partner. I have always been the dom ... but it is like the submissive need keeps growing. My thoughts .. fantasies ... desires ... keep turning there ... What I dont know is how this would effect me over the long haul ... How will it effect me at work ... the way I behave? Will it effect me? i am not by nature a submissive man ... i am simply a man who chooses to submit to the right woman ... to have our relationship be about my desire to serve Her needs - and thereby hopefully have our mutual needs and desires fulfilled.

When i met my ex, she was "vanilla" and had little idea of the BDSM world. Slowly I introduced Her to D/s, and She went out and started doing all types of reading in her own ... and She started doing reading on being dominant ... a Mistress.

She said She wanted to play at that ... so we did. And it was incredible. A battle for me ... but amazing feelings. Several incidents stick out in my mind ... not in any particular order ...

One nite She put on a pair of suede high heeled boots that ran up to Her knee ... and just a pair of panties. She asked me to get down on all fours and crawl to Her ... and to lick at Her boots. i did ... and it was incredible. just these waves of pleasure and need running thru me, for doing something i had NEVER thought i would do.

Another time we were on the couch fooling around ... and She asked me to kneel up next to her. We were both naked, and She took my cock in Her hand and told me to hump into Her hand. i was stunned ... but at that point, i was so hard and so excited that i started to hump my cock into Her hand.

As pleasurable as humping into Her hand was ... it was the way She spoke to me that truly drove the submissive type needs into me. The first time She said "good boy" ... words i has used so many times on women, including Her - and they went right thru me.

Me humping Her hand became a regular part of Her toying with me. At times it was the only way She would let me cum. But always it was the way She spoke to me that is the part i remember.

there are so many other needs and desires to write about ...
how it feels to wear panties ...
how it feels when i tie my cock and balls when masturbating
how much i want to be allowed to lick softly at a Woman's feet ... massage them for Her
the need to be taken with a strap-on
teasing and denial ...
serving Her a glass of wine or a drink ... and kneeling there holding it for Her

So i will let this serve as a kind of to do list of topics i will write about in the coming days ...
If there is any particular topic either above or other than that ... You wish me to elaborate on i am sure You will not hesitate to let me know ...

My thoughts ... and needs

I wanted to write you today about what it feels like ... and my thoughts and fantasies when i tie my cock and balls and masturbate ...

I use a stocking ... wrap it tightly around both my cock and balls ...
Then wrap it once or twice around just the base of my balls ... to wrap them tight ...
The very tight around the base of my cock ...

Good .. this is embarassing ...
Then i use a lot of oil on my cock ..and on my balls ... rub them both gently until my cock gets very hard - then begin to stroke it ... slowly ... the entire length ... until it fills with blood and swells even more ...
begins to get extremely sensitive ... and very hard
But I can stroke it for longer periods of time because it is tied off ... and i begin stroking just the head .. using more oil

I imagine being made to do this while my Mistress watches me ...
Has me stroke until She knows I am just about to cum ... and then tells me to stop ...
The I imagine Her sitting over my face .... facing toward my cock ... stroking it for me ... telling me to use my tongue to pleasure Her ... teasing me but not letting me cum ...

Maybe tying off more of my cock ... tying it tighter ...
Just stroking the top 2 inches or so ... teasing me mericiflessly

One of the things i think about is a Woman in a pair of thigh high boots ...
Having me crawl over to Her and lick up and down the sides of the boots ...
HEr leaning over the whole time .. petting my head ... telling me "good boy" ... you are doing such a good job my pet ...
And after a while She tells me to lay on my back with my head in the corner of the room ...
I do ... and She stands over me ... again facing my cock and balls ...
They are tied ... very tightly ... the rope wrapped several times around my balls ...and up between them, seperating them. Another rope wrapped several times around the base of my very swollen cock ... and I know what is coming because She has discussed this with me on a number of occasions ...
Slowly She lowers Her beautiful pussy to my lips ... and tells me to begin licking softly at Her clit ...
And while i am doing so ... i am to masturbate my well oiled cock for Her ... very slowly ...
Slowly drawing myself to the edge of orgasm ... while I pleasure Her with my tongue ..
Her enjoying watching me teasing my own cock for Her...
But not letting me cum ...

Other things i think about ... are You taking me with a strap on ...
(I will write about that in on of the coming posts) ...
Also, I want to be kneeling on a bed ... on all fours
knees and ass at the edge of the bed for You
You sitting in a chair at the end of the bed .. my ass ... my cock and balls ... all there for your use ..
My cock and balls tied tightly ...
You pulling them down ..and back toward You ... stroking them ...slowly ...
Having me reach back ..and pull my cheeks apart for You ...
You sliding a lubed finger deep into my ass ...
And so many other desires to be revealed . Until next time ...i remain ... submissively ... BoiJ

the first post ...

I have recently started a journey that I wish to share with you ... Of course at some point i will have to go back and explain how all this started ... how my journey to dominance started ... first back in high school, but then again with earnest as an adult. But more interesting, i am sure, is how did i become a man who longs to be on his knees to a strong Woman ... a man who is teased and denied by that Woman ... his orgasm owned by Her.

But i will leave that for my next few entries here. For today i want to share a thought on all this ... and a desire. My thought centers around the few Dommes i have encountered over the years ... and a basic difference i see between their views and my views on a D/s type relationship. As a dominant ... i was a strong proponent of behavior modification. But it was used not only to have my wishes granted ... but to encourage positive changes for the woman that i was with. My quote was ...
"I believe that a dominants role, is to be that safe place a Woman would crawl to .. to become all that He and she ... desire that she become".

I dont see that so much with dominant Women. I know this is a generalization ... but for the most part it seems to me the focus is on ... it isnt about the male submissive ... it is about the MISTRESS. What the Mistress wants ... what the Mistress expects. i understand the primary focus of needs and pleasure should be the Mistress. However, it doesn't seem to be about mutual happiness and enjoyment for both of them ... it seems to focus exclusively on the Mistress.

An example ... during an extended period of orgasm denial ... a Mistress and i had a conversation about when She would allow me to cum next. i realized during the conversation, that there was no consideration for my pleasure what so ever. Any comment on my part about kissing her or touching Her ... resulted in comments about only if and when i say so ... this is NOT about Your desires!

Now maybe I am/was a different kind of dominant ... and i know my above comments are generalizations ... but it seems to me that female Dominants are overly focused on their desires, with little to no concern about the male submissive. A female friend who is submissive ... and has been in the lifestyle a long time ... said it this way when i discussed this with her ... "Most Fem Doms I know ... milk sub men"

Desire ...
A recent desire
I am not allowed to cum for two weeks or so ... so that i am in quite a state of need and denial. My desire is to be tied on my back ... with my legs back ... so my cock and ball area ... as well as my ass ... are completely open and exposed to my Mistress.
Her ... with only a feather ... and maybe Her breath or the ligthest touch of a finger nail ... tormenting the area around my balls ... without even touching my testicles ... Avoiding my cock completely at the beginning ... and tickling that area between my ass and my balls. She said she would like to do this to me for 2 to 3 hours. Building my need ... taking me to deeper levels of ... teasing and denial ...